The Eyes of Sirius Black
by Kindali Sidera
Summary: Slash. Documents what happened behind the scenes with Remus and Sirius during book three and later. Rated M for some sexual content. NOT BETAED!


A/N: Okay, this is my first Remus/Sirius fic, as well as my first serious one, and my first horribly written sex scene. I didn't want to get into _too _much detail, because I don't want to have to post this on AdultFanFiction. And I was afraid it would get even cheesier than it is now. Well, this was inspired by Remus/Sirius fic called _'Nighttime'_, which was posted by deadlybride on LiveJournal. Thank you for inspiring me! And just to warn you, this one wasn't beta-ed. Hopefully it isn't too bad, seeing as I used spell and grammar check, but still. Well, let me stop my rambling (until the end) and let you read.

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When he escaped horrible place and we saw each other for the first time in over ten years, it was a bittersweet moment. He was with me again, but he wasn't the same. 

His clothes were tattered; his hair was matted with only Merlin knows what; his cheeks were hollowed and looked as if they belonged to a dead man. And he spoke as if he was one: in a monotone that only sounded when someone asked him a question.

But it was his eyes that were the worst. The eyes that had once been filled with joy and laughter, and when they were directed at me a love that had burned so deep it would have been surprising had I not felt the exact same way.

Now though, now they were changed. They were dead. When he looked at me it felt as if they were looking right through me. The only emotion they showed was anger, and that was only when Peter was mentioned.

It was so hard to see him that way. I wanted to reach out to him, but I just couldn't. It was like there was an invisible barrier separating us. He had been through something so horrible, and I could never relate to it.

The first show of emotion besides anger was when he talked to Harry, not as his parents' killer, but of their most trusted friend for the first time. I believe it was seeing him, looking so much like James did when we were younger, that sparked the first real connection to the world. As much as I wished it had been me to do that, it wasn't. I had changed too much over the years. My scarred face and graying hair made me look nothing like I did back when James and Lily were still alive.

The last time I saw him before he escaped the Kiss was when they were taking him to his cell. He had looked at me over his shoulder and I saw his eyes. There had been a hint of what there once was in them. But it was a sad look. He was being taken away to something that would have left him worse than before. No matter how pained I was, I held onto that look. I knew that he still had a sliver of what we had before.

When I found out he escaped on Buckbeak from Dumbledore, it was the happiest moment of my life up until that point. We still had a chance to see each other. I still had a chance to love him, to have him love me in a way I hadn't done in years, for I had never given up on him, even though he had been the supposed killer of our best friends. I had always believed in him.

But it had been a year now, and I still hadn't seen him. He was on the run, in hiding, never staying more than a few days in one place. I was able to talk to him through letters, but it was always in code, and we never said what we really felt about each other, so I was left hanging, wanting to know if he still loved me as much as he did back then. And I never knew if the letters would get to him or not.

So I'm sitting in my living room, reading his last letter, which I had gotten a month ago. I'm worried at why he hasn't sent another one in reply to my last. There is a summer storm raging outside the window and I wonder if he's out in it, instead of sitting in front of a fire like I am. It pains me just to think about him suffering.

The fire cracks and the rain pats on the roof. I can feel a tear start to roll its way down my cheek. I don't wipe it away, it only seems right.

I sit there for a moment until I hear something; it sounds like a knock at the door. I listen closer and it returns, but louder this time. I slowly get up. I know who I wants it to be, but the chances of that are slim.

When I get to the door I hesitate. It could be anyone, but then again it could be him. The knock comes again.

I open the door slowly, hand clutching my wand in my pocket: one can never be too safe in these times. But I had no need to worry for my hope was standing in front of me. He's standing there in his sopping wet clothes, his hair covering most of his face.

He walks in and shuts the door, and then he turns to me. His eyes peek out behind his matted pitch black hair. And what I see there is what I had been hoping for since he first escaped from Azkaban.

His hand, rough from everything he's gone through, raises to my face and wipes away the tear I forgot was even there.

I try to get my mouth to work, and finally I'm able to say one word, "Sirius." It's more of a breathy sigh of disbelief.

He smiles, the first smile I've seen him have in years, and his eyes fill with something like happiness. "Remus," he breathes back.

That smile and that breath were like invitations, and before I know what I'm doing, I'm kissing him. He tastes like I remember: something so uniquely Sirius.

The kiss is slow, and I like it that way. His hands run through my hair, and I caress his cheek and neck, running my hands across his stubble. Our tongues wind together, slowly getting reacquainted with each other. When we pull back for breath I gaze into his eyes. They burned with a love that I could never forget.

The next thing I know he takes my hand and leads me through the house towards the back where the master bedroom is. He remembers it from when he practically lived here before James and Lily died. But I don't want to think about any of that right now. I want to focus on him.

To my surprise he walks through the bedroom and into the master bath. He lets my hand go and slowly starts to undress me. He lifts my sweater over my head and slowly kisses my newly exposed chest. I shiver as he runs his hands down it and over my nipples, reaching for my pants. He sucks at the hollow of my neck while he unbuttons them and I grab at his jacket, pushing it off his shoulders and revealing a stained white T-shirt beneath it. I grab at that as well and manage to get it over his head right as my pants fall to the floor. I step out of them and kick them somewhere behind me.

He again starts to kiss my chest, working lower every few seconds. We are both obviously aroused and I just want him already. I get him standing straight and I quickly unbutton and dispose of his pants. We're running our hands all over each other now, both standing naked and panting in our need. I look into his eyes again and am filled with joy with the strong emotion I see there.

He turns and twists the handle that turns on the shower. Near-scalding water flows out of the showerhead and we slowly climb in, letting our bodies get used to it. We go slowly again, even though my body was screaming faster, I wanted this to last as long as possible. We slowly stroke each other and kiss each other softly. We don't want to ruin it, so we say nothing, letting our bodies speak for us.

When I feel him in me I gasp. It was the most wonderful feeling and my mind almost went into overload. I kiss and bite his neck, moaning in pleasure.

His hand tightened around me as he started moving faster. He thrust into me one more time, coming in a barking yell. I came right after, shuddering and laying against him in pure euphoria.

When I bring my head up to look at his face, water streaming down it, I see a huge grin on it. For a moment we're back then, when everything was alright. And I see the same look of love, just as strong as it was then, in his eyes now.

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A/N: I hope you all liked it. (And I hope the sex scene wasn't _too_ bad...) Please tell me what you thought by reviewing! Bye-bye till next time! 


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